Everybody's Changing

The morning bus ride to my office is probably the only time I get for myself. Just me and my thoughts. As the city fades away, my eyes feast on the myriad hues of greens and yellows of virgin farmland. Clean and pure. As the bus goes about its mindless rush, tearing through the hinterland, my abstract cerebrations too gather momentum. Chaotic, fragmented and tempestuous. That probably describes aptly the threads of thought in my mind. It meanders through the innocence of childhood days, the growing up pangs of school days, the lessons learnt the hard way in college days, and the youthful zest of days of my first job. I am reminded of friends of past and present. A few who brightened up those days long gone by, never to be heard from again, and the few who have bonded with me for a lifetime.

Then suddenly, I am reminded that I must be listening to the song playing on my MP3 player. I missed the opening lines of the song in my reverie. Skip back. Play. I am wandering once again..
Today's song I was trying to concentrate on was by Keane:

"Everybody's Changing"

You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can
You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody's changing
And I don't know why
You're gone from here
And soon you will disappear
Cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same

Where peace meets grief

Happened to go to the cemetery this weekend. Of the many Christian places of rest for the long forgotten and dead in Delhi, perhaps this one presents the most stark contrasts. Being situated in "Paharganj" notorious for its melee of crowds, noisy by lanes, hawk eyed street vendors, a mix of our own street junkies and fhirangs high on dope the cemetery stands out as an oasis in midst of a ravenous desert. Call it an anachronism in the present time and context.

The entrance to the cemetery is quite non descript and one will definitely miss it if one is new to this place. Its five to six feet wide entrance is flanked by two flower kiosks, the owners of which will jump in with their unsolicited sales pitch. Once you are inside the change in the surroundings hit you and soothe your frayed senses instantly. The cacophony, filth and claustrophobia that you experienced while walking down from "Panchkuan Road" gives way to some kind of tranquil sedation. The cemetery in itself is not very pristine in its aura, but the vast expanse of around 15 acres of space, interspersed with giant and sinewy old neems, banyans and jamun trees does feel like heaven for a while. You can even hear an odd koel perched on a branch somewhere. The 12 feet high walls surrounding the cemetery somehow seems to fight a battle to keep the city out of its sacred limits.

As I walked towards the grave of someone who I miss a lot and who has been instrumental in bringing me into this world, I passed a grave of a child. Alongside the grave were this young couple, probably in their early thirties, grieving the loss of their child. Since they did not have any kid with them I assume that they probably had lost their only child. The wife sat there arranging flowers on the grave so very lovingly, while the husband just looked around crushed and defeated. Try as I might, I haven't been able to erase the look on their faces till this very moment.

Its said that time is the greatest healer. In my case I have experienced that grief gradually gives way to a sense of inadequacy, like something is missing. I am young and have lot of things lined up, perhaps even the sense of loss will fade away one day. But when I spare a thought for the young couple at the cemetery, I think, "What if they don't have kids anymore? Will they ever get over their grief ?" Perhaps not.

I just wish them all happiness ... 

Monday Blues

Its hilarious to note that even today upward mobile and highly educated professionals (intelligentsia they call themselves) look into caste equations before tying the knot.
Even an act as spontaneous as falling in love comes after a background check. This is the sad conclusion I have made after talking to colleagues in my office.

We Indians are racist and hypocrites of the top order. Its not hilarious anymore, partly and probably because its another manic Monday.

The Final Act

TGIF !

Getting bored,
doing nothing.
Going home,
I will be resting.

Happy weekend to myself :)

Of dark clouds and rainbows

This is one of my favorite photographs I took in Paris. Being an amateur photographer I am surprised at the way this came out! I still remember that day as if it happened just yesterday ..

It was one of those days when you are down and out. I had a lot of worries in my mind on my job front, the assignment I was supposed to complete in France was running into rough weather and I was feeling miserable. Out there all alone with no one to share my thoughts, it was hell. So one weekend I went on a city tour all by myself. The thought of going to office the following Monday was killing me. I happened to reach "Sacre-Coeur" the sacred heart cathedral in the heart of Paris atop a hill. The view from the top was spellbinding, but the sky was overcast as if mirroring my feelings. It began to drizzle. Having being left with no options I entered the church. The peace and calm inside was eerie, the candles and the low hum of the piano soothing .. so I just sat there trying to soak in the feeling of peace and calm. It really had an delirious effect, somehow I felt better much lighter. After about half an hour I came out of the transept to a sunny day, the clouds had gone mysteriously! A rainbow could be seen on the horizon. An exquisite sight. I don't have the words to describe the same but it was a godsend. This photograph captured the moment of revelation. Once the feeling of gloom was dispelled, I spent the weekend much lighter and the week that followed saw the seemingly unsolvable issue just melt away..

I am not a very religious person, I am more of a skeptic and I take everything offered with a pinch of salt. I know its just a coincidence, but I have come to realize how strong is the power of nature to gently suggest and coax you out of a slumber, uplift your spirits. And yes, do the seemingly impossible ..

Beautiful Eyes

Blog surfing led me to this blog by Lady called ancient worlds. As usual it set my mind whirring and reminded me of a short science fiction story by Asimov.

It dwells on a distant future eons away where present day humans have evolved to the extent that they have shed their mortal bodies and have this immortal ethereal form that wanders in the infinities of the universe. Two of these energy beings meet one day and try to remember the body they once had. All happiness and joy of the humans in their new found form could not redress their melancholy for the bodies that they once possessed. They reminisce of a human body that loved long time back, a human body that felt warm and felt loved, and the human eyes that once shed tears ...

What are we without this fragile bodies we have? We take it for granted, complain, and remain thankless to the Maker who made it in all its beauty.

Yes eyes do more than see ...

For the One in my Life !

Got this tag thing from Neetika wherein you need to write all these things about what you are looking for in a life partner, probably life partner would be too rigid terminology by the next Gen standards, boyfriend/girlfriend would be close enough I guess !
It set me thinking though, and just writing down eight measly points would be an affront to the emotions that go with this kind of stuff. So here is something by John Lenon that sums it all .. packs a punch with feelings and my personal favorite !

When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we see
No I won’t be afraid
No I won’t be afraid
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

And darling, darling stand by me
Oh, now, now, stand by me
Stand by me, stand by me

If the sky that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
And the mountain should crumble to the sea
I won’t cry, I won’t cry
No I won’t shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

And darling, darling stand by me
Oh, stand by me
Stand by me, stand by me, stand by me

Whenever you’re in trouble won’t you stand by me
Oh, now, now, stand by me
Oh, stand by me, stand by me, stand by me

Darling, darling stand by me
Stand by me
Oh stand by me, stand by me, stand by me

Greener Pastures ?

Last Friday my cousin bro from NY touched down in Delhi for a short visit. I happened to spend a weekend with him last year, as I had gone on an official trip to the US of A. Unravelled the streets of Manhattan with him, 25th street to 'god-knows-how-many" streets, took a peek at the Zombie Of Liberty and Times Square. Later back at his place we discussed India vis-à-vis Uncle Sam. My cousin with a smirk on his face quipped , "See what u've been missin here! Come on now, leave your patriotic fervor aside, pack your bags and settle here in the land of Opp". "Oh yeah", I retorted back, "Come to Delhi someday and see the progress we've made !".
Cut back to the present, he's on the front seat with me and hanging on to his dear life, while I honk and wiz past the maddening rush. I maneuver the sea of humanity on the roads, besides the mongrels and the cattle, all the while showing him the new flyovers, the wide roads and the Metro being constructed. We reach home in 45 mins and as I pull his baggage out, with a heart welling with pride I ask, "So, what do you think of Delhi. Cool place naa, what ya think ?". He replies rather nonchalantly, "The roads are wide n there is some greenery. But the mad rush is still the same. The dogs, cattle and rickshaws still rule the roost. There are so many people out here man, I feel claustrophobic". As always he ended with, "No life here man. Pack your bags and settle in the land of Opp".

I have started enquiring about the procedure to immigrate to the states. Heard that it takes quite a while to get there once you've applied (5 - 8 years). Hey, it takes 5 mins to activate your new cellphone out here! Where's the difference then ?

For all smart alecs

A bit busy today, so just posting some stuff I received by mail !

~ Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

~ A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

~ Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

~ Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

~ Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

~ A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

~ Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".

Alternate Professions

On days like today, when I get extremely world-weary I think of alternate professions that would give me the independence and adventure I always look for. Here is a glimpse of what I could be.

Wildlife Photographer
This is a cool one. Me going on an African safari to Kalahari or Serengeti. I am lying in wait at the water hole for the right moment. Waiting for the predators and the prey. Click. I just captured a pack of Hyena ambushing a deer. National Geographic is gonna pay though their nose for this captured moment. Oh no, the bisons are charging towards me ....run get outta here ..run.

Journalist
Sitting at my home, writing. Going places, reporting. Carrying a pin hole camera embedded in my pen for a sting operation, catching the corrupt in the act. The newspapers and TV channels blare aloud about the exposé. I am a national hero. The CBI starts raids at my office and home. Me am sitting in jail for a transgression I haven't committed. I am happy for if I was out, I'll probably end up with a bullet in my head. Yiikes.

Skydiver
Adventure beckons! I jump out of a plane at an altitude of 8000 feet. I am flying with the wind on my face. The landscape below looks awesome. I am falling, falling endlessly. Oops, the parachute fails to open. The landscape looks menacing now. Thud! I am riding a cloud wearing white robes, I have grown wings and have a halo as a fashion accessory. I am playing a mandolin.

Archaeologist
The past enchants me. I bring alive the secrets of the past. I have chanced upon an ancient civilization deep in the jungles of Amazon. The treasures that lie in the hidden crypts fascinate me. The maze leads me deeper towards my goal. Oops, I think I lost my way. That explains the not-so-old skeletons out here. The torch I carry fades. Darkness. Err ... hello. (echoes back)

IT professional
I am back doing the work I hate to do. The hum of the AC is reassuring though. My manager is not that bad either. I can blog, be all that I want to be in the virtual world. There is no adventure, but there are no uncertainties either. The job also entails living on the edge. Who knows when earthquakes strike! I am loving it.

 

Mr. Sunglass-Man

This weekend (Sunday) Connaught Place a.k.a. Rajiv Chowk was blessed with my presence (silly pompous fella I am !). Had planned a rendezvous with an old friend. Waiting there for my not so punctual friend I witnessed Mr. Sunglass-Man duping his second catch, an ignorant village dweller (I guess). He waved to me and I waved back. Mr. Sunglass-Man's modus operandi was simple, zero down on an ignoramus, befuddle him with a conspiratorial mumbo jumbo about his smuggled Ray-Bans that he wanted to dispose off for a throw away price (with additional special affects that included talking in a hushed voice while looking all around as if he would de-materialize if the elusive cop materializes). He would quote 1000 Rs for his ill gotten possession which according to him costs Rs 4000 in the showroom, the dimwit customer usually tried to bargain and quote Rs 800. Mr. Sunglass-Man pounces on this opportunity, deal is done. Mr. Sunglass-Man disappears in a jiffy and Mr. Simpleton is left wondering if he had a good deal after all.
I had the pleasure of talking at length to Mr. Sunglass-Man last year at the same spot. As usual I was waiting for someone, killing time, when I started observing Mr. Sunglass-Man's tactics. That day he was not having any luck I noticed, so I called him. He came promptly and started with his sales pitch. I stopped him mid-sentence and told him that I just wanted to talk to someone to kill time. He kind of understood that I knew his stuff was fake and obviously wont buy it. He tried one last time, asking me to at least buy one sunglass for Rs 150 which I could gift to some friend. I laughed. I explained that all my friends were well informed to judge a fake from the real one and moreover it would be an affront to their prestige and mine. I also added that he was free to continue his business if he liked as I would only be wasting his time and buying nothing. He was keen on talking anyway, because on that day he was not making much progress as far as business was concerned. He told me all about the fakes, where they were made, where all they were sold, and stuff like that. He told me about the "hafta", protection money he paid the cops and reasons why he took to this profession. In short he presented his life's story in a nutshell. He however never told me the actual cost price of his wares. Business ethics/principals I guess. Finally I spotted my friend coming my way so I wished him goodbye, have a nice day, best of luck and all that. Finally, before parting he offered me a sunglass at any price I wished to quote. I tried Rs 20. He agreed without arguing! I was left wondering like Mr. Simpleton whether I had a good deal after all. The sunglass still lies untouched in a dark corner in my cupboard.
I have bumped into Mr. Sunglass-Man almost everytime I have been to C.P, he remembers me, coz he always smiles and waves to me. Mr. Sunglass-Man can be tracked between Starbeans cafe (not StarBucks) and Wengers at the inner circle of C.P. If you get a sunglass from him for Rs 20 then you have a deal !

 

Weekend Bloopers

This happened a few weeks back ..

My sick manager had called in everyone in the team to raise collective stink on a Saturday. Big B's (Big Boss) orders cannot be countermanded he says. It was my weekend you bloody pervert.
$%&#.

So I was there doing nothing. As if coming to office and (not) working on Saturday was not awful enough, I complimented it with a blooper.

My friend and colleague PR was in Hyderabad that day for an interview.
Lucky dog.

So my manager was trying to reach him, because he believes that when we need to raise a stink, everyone should be there. Team spirit you know. PR would not pick up calls from my managers cell phone or the normal office line.
Intelligent move.

But my slithersucker manager uses my cell phone to reach him.
I cross my fingers,.
PR answers thinking its me.
Duffer.

He is cornered, tells the SlimySonOfaUKnowWhat, that's he outta station for a friends marriage.Manager informs PR that he is on the verge of losing 25% of the bonus based on his recommendation.
PR calls me back later, calls me Judas, Brutus whatever.
Hey, PR why didn't you tell me you r going the hyd? I could have easily fooled that schlemiel.

So I was sitting in the office with no work and a guilty conscience.

Lesson learnt: As if I need to remind myself ! :(

Today's Screensaver

Ye Nayan Dare Dare, Ye Jaam Bhare Bhare
Zara Peene Do
Kal Ki Kisko Khabar, Ik Raat Hoke Nidar
Mujhe Jeene Do
Ye Nayan Dare Dare...


English Translation:

These Eyes full of Fear
These Goblets full of Beer
Please let me Drink a little More.
Who knows what the Future Holds,
Just One night I want to be Bold,
And live my Life without Hold.


Movie Name : Kohra
Singer : Hemant Kumar
Music Director : Hemant Kumar
Lyricist : Kaifi Azmi

The following song is haunting me, playing in loop everytime my mind wanders off. How do I stop it? Probably should hum "Who let the Dogs out" more often ;)

For the mind is restless..

Can a person be totally satisfied with what life has got to offer at any given point of time ? Maybe you need to leave everything behind and move to the Himalayas for that ! But then, if you still have the materialistic streak in you you'll rue the absence of the good things in life atop the mountains too :(

Why am I writing all this ? Aaahh the restless mind .. On the personal front everything is going great. Apparently I feel that I am missing some action on the professional front. Should I look out for a change? But the very thought of change brings in apprehensions .. I'll need to start everything from scratch, build new relationships and generally miss the cocoon of comfort ...

As written in the Bhagvad Gita
"For the mind is restless, turbulent, obstinate and very strong, O Krsna, and to subdue it is, it seems to me, more difficult than controlling the wind."

Celebrations for a Comment !

So I have I comment on my blog. Time to open up the bubbly and celebrate ! My blog is being noticed after all :) But there is one show stopper to this entire comment thing .. why do people put in anonymous comments? I fail to understand. Who is it who is reading my blogs.. is it my manager ? Anyway to the one person who put in that comments ..Thanks !!!!

 

 

 

 

Literary conquests

As I have a lot of time in my hands while traveling to and from office, I spend some time on my long discontinued literary pursuits. Presently I am enjoying "English August" by Upamanyu Chaterjee. The main protagonist in this plot is in a situation quite like mine .. trying to bring some excitement to his boring career.

 

Moving On..

My boring life has got a new meaning ! Literally ! Our office has shifted to this grand and brand new building at a new location that's miles and miles out of the city. The drive to this place is quite a stress buster with a tranquil and idyllic countryside en route ! These days I am spending most of my time exploring the various nooks, corners, alleyways, corridors, exits and whatever you can imagine :)